Madness, or sanity? With each passing day, I find myself trying to determine how big the spectrum between them is, if it even exists for that matter. Am I crazy for wondering? Has my mind gone astray or am I among the small percentage of people that remain sane? Lost in thoughts of lunacy amidst a deranged society that has eliminated any concept of what sanity actually is. Perhaps the spectrum really is non-existent, and sanity is just a word made up by madmen to satisfy the fools living in denial.
The sane seem more like mystical creatures from what I have found throughout this adventure. We’re living in a world ruled by covetous narcissistic psycho and sociopaths, posing as fucking role models, how can one maintain a stable mindset in a reality crafted by such lunatics? Is it possible that we are just products of this everlasting psychosis that is reality, bound by restrictions instilled by these madmen and their god damned prophets?
Who’s to say but it seems apparent while the border separating sanity from madness is evidently fictitious, as it appears everyone is prone to the insanity of the lifestyles we chose to lead whether they be chaotic or not. Children constantly playing with guns and kings grabbing pussy for sport, it seems that any sense of virtue has been absorbed in humanity’s quest to eliminate all remnants of the sound mind.
Trying to preserve the balance of mad and sane within my own brain is becoming more and more of a difficult task everyday as well. I can’t seem to fathom why but I think it is has something to do with the environment or the society I live in. Everyone I come to meet is madder than the next. I’m surrounded by floozies, jokers, madmen and thieves, driven by greed and lust for excessive stimulation or wealth.
It’s sickening really, and it’s even more gut wrenching that I find myself among these crazed misfits, scavenging for a hit or a lick more often than not. I sometimes pray that I will someday find my mind, then afterwards wonder what I was even praying to in the first place. Sadly, it seems prayers only come true for compliant alter boys. Anyhow, I still had hope, hope that the prayers I made reached the False Prophet, and perchance this so called mind of mine would turn up and I, myself could truly discover the meaning of sanity.
Unfortunately, the prayers are still yet to have proven useful. For all one knows, I’m searching for something that was never lost in the first place as many people do in their lifetime, or maybe I just never wanted to accept my mind’s existence to begin with. I’m not too sure, but if you asked me, I guess I would say the madness is too enjoyable to let go of and despite what I thought I wanted, my subconscious would never allow me to take hold of my sanity.
Like most people, I enjoy the vices, and yearn for the demon’s company. I do not see how one could resist the guilty pleasures that drive this world bonkers, but it looks as though that is where the border finds its transparency. The border between madness and sanity that is.
Along with a majority of the human population, I am guilty of blending the two together, creating little difference between the theories. All in all, I hope to find some sort stability before I leave this life, as everyone should. Until then, I will remain a lost boy surviving in a mad world, caught in the perpetual struggle of locating a place for my head.