How can you possibly hold me accountable for anything when the environment establishes a context that will ultimately predestine my actions before I can even make them. Don’t blame me! Blame context! I was born at the bottom of a wishing well but that story is for another day. Anyway, it is context! that is the real villain, not me, oh no. I heard something once that goes like man is free but everywhere he goes hes in chains. I think Jean-Jacques Rousseau said that. Uhhhh you! yeah you, can you fact check that for me? OK greeeat. Take it easy for a minute everyone my guy is fact checking this for me it’ll just take a minute. Oh! whats that? Oh! say that again. Rousseau DID said that? ok cool, ummm did I look smart? I did! OK good ANNNND were back everybody! Yeeeaah, you see this is my first TED talk and you know, i’m up on stage, theres tons of people here and you know, that makes me a pretty big deal. Therefore! i’m creditable! and therefore! you have to listen to me and allow me to shape the way you think/////. Imma let you in on something RIGHT NOW! You see, I don’t have to know what i’m talking about. All I have to do is give the illusion that I know what i’m talking about. Two very very different things but, anyway, isn’t this fun! I’m having a great time. Some people may view this as some crazy type of rant but I assure you this is far more complex than that. This is called “stream of consciousness” see how I used that big word there? Watch this, here is another big word, here it goes. “socialized health insurance” or as Ronald Reagan might call it communist care. It’s a red scare in 2019. Blame it on them so you can feel better about the mistakes you’ve made. I was alone during the day when these thoughts came to me but now i’m going to change my life. I’m going to go to the beach and order seven Spongebob Square-Pants Popsicle sticks and give one to every homeless person I see on my way home. When I get home i’ll have three left, maybe i’ll give one to my dad but, I need at least two for myself. You can also blame that on context.
I’ve floated here for far too long
gazing upon many other pools
but here I remain
Hands like raisins
that make me believe I have better grip.
Until a sweeping view inside of my head
reminds me again
It’s just figment after figment.
Not just going to bed,
But falling to sleep.
With the others who talk fast
and think slow.
And soon enough
Lungs like fishbowls.
It’s been awhile since I posted some of my thoughts on this shitty, fucking
D grade website. Sadly, I have been so busy, there have not really been any good opportunities for me to share what has been on my mind recently and it has been a serious bother. If you want the complete truth, I spent a little too much time inside of the bottle over the past couple months, and while I spent that time surrounded in a liquid haze of spirits, there was unfortunately little writing to be done in my mind.
Continue reading “Lube Your Manners”
Chivalry has to be dead, it just has to be, and true romance, does it even exist? There is no candlelit dinners and walks on the beach while the sun sets anymore. Where’s the love and happiness in life these days? Everyone just wants a quick suck and fuck, jumping straight to the scandalous acts of cum guzzling and salad tossing. Why waste any time though right? Might as well just get right to it, we are going to die sooner rather than later anyway, and if Tinder exists, put it to good use. No one cares for one another any more, and a successful marriage? I don’t think I was even alive to grasp the concept of what that may have been like, if it even existed at one point.
Continue reading “True Romance: A Chivalrous Fiction”
Madness, or sanity? With each passing day, I find myself trying to determine how big the spectrum between them is, if it even exists for that matter. Am I crazy for wondering? Has my mind gone astray or am I among the small percentage of people that remain sane? Lost in thoughts of lunacy amidst a deranged society that has eliminated any concept of what sanity actually is. Perhaps the spectrum really is non-existent, and sanity is just a word made up by madmen to satisfy the fools living in denial.
The sane seem more like mystical creatures from what I have found throughout this adventure. We’re living in a world ruled by covetous narcissistic psycho and sociopaths, posing as fucking role models, how can one maintain a stable mindset in a reality crafted by such lunatics? Continue reading “They say all the best people are…”
Handjobs are such an underrated form of art. The only time I think people appreciate a good handjob is before they’ve had the delight of one’s mouth on their genitals. Young pubescent boys just exploding at the thought of a girl even looking below their wastes. A handjob was everything a 14 year old boy could ask for, while a blowjob was something you hear about in legends or your dads porn collection. Then the day comes where you find yourself face to face with destiny and some young innocent girl or boy is slobbing on your pecker like it’s a lollipop. Afterwards the thought of a mere handjob seems childish and petty.
Once a person is introduced to the art of fellatio, they forget about the sexual power that everyone possesses in their hands. Continue reading “An Unsung Pleasure”
I never understood why some people couldn’t take a hint. You know what I mean? Those people that are really just fucking pissing you off and they’re too simpleminded to realize. I can’t stand those obtuse twats, and in some cases, I feel bad but get the fuck away from me. I can only take some people for so long and then I get to a point where I’d rather have my ears bitten off by Mike Tyson then have to listen to them even take another breath. Really, most people I have come to meet in this life, either talk too much or they just flat out rub me the wrong way when they happen to look in my direction. The pathetic smiles of imbeciles. We’re surrounded by them everyday, and it starts to make one wonder whether or not they’re a headcase. At least, I know have I been contemplating the thought for some time.
Continue reading “Get a clue.”