Lube Your Manners

It’s been awhile since I posted some of my thoughts on this shitty, fucking
D grade website. Sadly, I have been so busy, there have not really been any good opportunities for me to share what has been on my mind recently and it has been a serious bother. If you want the complete truth, I spent a little too much time inside of the bottle over the past couple months, and while I spent that time surrounded in a liquid haze of spirits, there was unfortunately little writing to be done in my mind.

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True Romance: A Chivalrous Fiction

Chivalry has to be dead, it just has to be, and true romance, does it even exist? There is no candlelit dinners and walks on the beach while the sun sets anymore. Where’s the love and happiness in life these days? Everyone just wants a quick suck and fuck, jumping straight to the scandalous acts of cum guzzling and salad tossing. Why waste any time though right? Might as well just get right to it, we are going to die sooner rather than later anyway, and if Tinder exists, put it to good use. No one cares for one another any more, and a successful marriage? I don’t think I was even alive to grasp the concept of what that may have been like, if it even existed at one point.
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They say all the best people are…

Madness, or sanity? With each passing day, I find myself trying to determine how big the spectrum between them is, if it even exists for that matter. Am I crazy for wondering? Has my mind gone astray or am I among the small percentage of people that remain sane? Lost in thoughts of lunacy amidst a deranged society that has eliminated any concept of what sanity actually is. Perhaps the spectrum really is non-existent, and sanity is just a word made up by madmen to satisfy the fools living in denial.

The sane seem more like mystical creatures from what I have found throughout this adventure. We’re living in a world ruled by covetous narcissistic psycho and sociopaths, posing as fucking role models, how can one maintain a stable mindset in a reality crafted by such lunatics? Continue reading “They say all the best people are…”

An Unsung Pleasure

Handjobs are such an underrated form of art. The only time I think people appreciate a good handjob is before they’ve had the delight of one’s mouth on their genitals. Young pubescent boys just exploding at the thought of a girl even looking below their wastes. A handjob was everything a 14 year old boy could ask for, while a blowjob was something you hear about in legends or your dads porn collection. Then the day comes where you find yourself face to face with destiny and some young innocent girl or boy is slobbing on your pecker like it’s a lollipop. Afterwards the thought of a mere handjob seems childish and petty.

Once a person is introduced to the art of fellatio, they forget about the sexual power that everyone possesses in their hands. Continue reading “An Unsung Pleasure”

Get a clue.

I never understood why some people couldn’t take a hint. You know what I mean? Those people that are really just fucking pissing you off and they’re too simpleminded to realize. I can’t stand those obtuse twats, and in some cases, I feel bad but get the fuck away from me. I can only take some people for so long and then I get to a point where I’d rather have my ears bitten off by Mike Tyson then have to listen to them even take another breath. Really, most people I have come to meet in this life, either talk too much or they just flat out rub me the wrong way when they happen to look in my direction. The pathetic smiles of imbeciles. We’re surrounded by them everyday, and it starts to make one wonder whether or not they’re a headcase. At least, I know have I been contemplating the thought for some time.

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Parking Meters After Dark

It’s time to rid the world of parking meters. Have you ever wondered, what would happen if every motorist on the planet, decided to stop putting money in the parking meters? Would they disappear? Would they explode? Who knows, the conformity puppets that I share society with would never let it happen, the fucking squares. I mean would the world really fucking end if everyone just paused and decided they were done paying to publicly park? I honestly, don’t think it would. It might for the parking enforcement though. How about those fuckers, am I right? I wish my dick could get that hard. Continue reading “Parking Meters After Dark”

The Promised Land

Despite what anyone tells you and what you believe, we all suck. You suck, I suck, he sucks, she sucks, everybody fucking sucks, literally. That one kid in the corner sucks dick and the girl next to him has a thing for pussy, and the ones by the vending machines, oh boy, those kids suck asshole. I mean, it’s 2018, if you’re not sucking ass for enjoyment or sexual stimulation rather than trying to get ahead in life, what the fuck are you doing, you pitiful, unsanitary pricks?

Hey, don’t get me wrong, to each his own, I am no judge of how one chooses to get off or who they choose to love, but we all do fucking suck. I probably know what you’re thinking, “I don’t suck ass, I eat that shit”, but you’re wrong, regardless of whatever you and your dense fucking brain want to think, you’re sucking, you sick fucks.

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