Handjobs are such an underrated form of art. The only time I think people appreciate a good handjob is before they’ve had the delight of one’s mouth on their genitals. Young pubescent boys just exploding at the thought of a girl even looking below their wastes. A handjob was everything a 14 year old boy could ask for, while a blowjob was something you hear about in legends or your dads porn collection. Then the day comes where you find yourself face to face with destiny and some young innocent girl or boy is slobbing on your pecker like it’s a lollipop. Afterwards the thought of a mere handjob seems childish and petty.
Once a person is introduced to the art of fellatio, they forget about the sexual power that everyone possesses in their hands. Continue reading “An Unsung Pleasure”
I never understood why some people couldn’t take a hint. You know what I mean? Those people that are really just fucking pissing you off and they’re too simpleminded to realize. I can’t stand those obtuse twats, and in some cases, I feel bad but get the fuck away from me. I can only take some people for so long and then I get to a point where I’d rather have my ears bitten off by Mike Tyson then have to listen to them even take another breath. Really, most people I have come to meet in this life, either talk too much or they just flat out rub me the wrong way when they happen to look in my direction. The pathetic smiles of imbeciles. We’re surrounded by them everyday, and it starts to make one wonder whether or not they’re a headcase. At least, I know have I been contemplating the thought for some time.
Continue reading “Get a clue.”
It’s time to rid the world of parking meters. Have you ever wondered, what would happen if every motorist on the planet, decided to stop putting money in the parking meters? Would they disappear? Would they explode? Who knows, the conformity puppets that I share society with would never let it happen, the fucking squares. I mean would the world really fucking end if everyone just paused and decided they were done paying to publicly park? I honestly, don’t think it would. It might for the parking enforcement though. How about those fuckers, am I right? I wish my dick could get that hard. Continue reading “Parking Meters After Dark”
Despite what anyone tells you and what you believe, we all suck. You suck, I suck, he sucks, she sucks, everybody fucking sucks, literally. That one kid in the corner sucks dick and the girl next to him has a thing for pussy, and the ones by the vending machines, oh boy, those kids suck asshole. I mean, it’s 2018, if you’re not sucking ass for enjoyment or sexual stimulation rather than trying to get ahead in life, what the fuck are you doing, you pitiful, unsanitary pricks?
Hey, don’t get me wrong, to each his own, I am no judge of how one chooses to get off or who they choose to love, but we all do fucking suck. I probably know what you’re thinking, “I don’t suck ass, I eat that shit”, but you’re wrong, regardless of whatever you and your dense fucking brain want to think, you’re sucking, you sick fucks.
Continue reading “The Promised Land”
The blissful innocence of youth is something that most people took for granted growing up. I believe every person on this planet shares the same regret of rushing through childhood, no matter how their life ended up. Adolescence, for most, is a time lacking responsibilities, and it is most certainly a time of experimentation. I mean, I don’t know about some of you but for myself and many others I can assume that we all might as well have had lab kits or full on laboratories.
Hell, there was a kid who was smoking pot in grammar school. We were in the fourth grade, so, we were seven or eight years old, I’m sorry I don’t know the exact age, but yeah, fucked. It’s a funny thing though, last I heard someone was experimenting on that kids asshole in a cell. I was actually really happy to hear he was doing so well, you gotta shoot for the stars ya know, but anyway, the point is many kids try to enter the portal to the realm of adulthood, with no concern for the fact that it is nothing like anything anyone thinks it to be.
I mean really, what is so great about being an adult, legally being able to drink or drive? Continue reading “Inevitable Hypocrisy”
As a child, my father liked the fact that he had someone he was able to command so to speak. He always told me, as many fathers tell their kids, that if I put my mind to it, I can be anything I would like to be when the time comes. The funny thing is with my dad, there were two restrictions. I could never be a police officer and never work at the Department of Motor Vehicle, as long as he was still breathing.
I really never understood why not a police officer, granted, many of them are power driven hard- on’s just looking to meet their monthly quota, but not all cops are jerk offs. Who is to say why, my dad really just never had any good interaction with any police officer in the fifty years of his life, and he just did not want his son working for criminals. The best part is that, yes, the police are the criminals through his crazy eyes. On the other hand, I must agree with him, if you work at the DMV, the chances are you probably suck.
Continue reading “Life beyond the Earth”