Parking Meters After Dark

It’s time to rid the world of parking meters. Have you ever wondered, what would happen if every motorist on the planet, decided to stop putting money in the parking meters? Would they disappear? Would they explode? Who knows, the conformity puppets that I share society with would never let it happen, the fucking squares. I mean would the world really fucking end if everyone just paused and decided they were done paying to publicly park? I honestly, don’t think it would. It might for the parking enforcement though. How about those fuckers, am I right? I wish my dick could get that hard.

They run around all day with smiles on their faces, citing every sucker who forgot to or willingly didn’t pay the meter. I never thought I would meet a person that wanted to fuck a parking meter until I met one of these fearless enforcers. You know what he was doing? Giving me a parking ticket because I failed to adhere to the rules instilled by that municipality and I kid you not, the guy was hard. Hard as a rock. Staring me in the eyes while he wrote the ticket, with a full on tent below his waste, trying to use a stern voice he said, “Uhm Sir, haha I’m sorry but if this is your vehicle, you parked in spot 347 and failed to pay meter 347, I am going to have to issue you a citation”. I just stared at the guy, trying to figure out what to say but I didn’t want him to hear my voice. Sometimes all it takes is a voice and someone’s bound to cum everywhere.

So I just nodded my head, letting him know I understood while he took my plates down, baffled by the thought that this guy might sensually sit on parking meters after dark. Along with that, I was guilty, there was no point in arguing and telling the man what was on my mind. I probably would have found myself in an even worse situation if I had told him. There were a lot of sick and torturous thoughts going through my head but I just took the ticket, smiled, got in my car and drove off, all without uttering one word. I knew that if I opened my mouth the man would have heard my feelings about him and his entire family alive or dead, whom mind you, none of them had ever made my acquaintance, but I decided I couldn’t ruin his mood. I’d hate for someone to bite my boner, ya know?

Now, being the broke college student that I am, I had to pay an 85 dollar ticket to some bullshit township all because I chose not pay to park for 2 dollars, which quite frankly, I would rather give to the homeless guy sitting next to the fucking meter but rules are rules as my newly erected friend established. So I realized, parking Meters, are just another scheme concocted by the Dark Prince, to make you pay him money for everything you decide to do. Free country. Free world. I’ll believe that when I see it.

It’s time we stick it to the parking meters. If we don’t feed them, then they’re bound to die off right? Yeah, everyone will get tickets and maybe warrants but can they really lock up a whole country? America is already struggling with the overpopulation of its prisons, where would they put all of us? A concentration camp because we failed to pay 50 cents to park? If everyone united to take a stand against parking meters, they might meet their demise. I mean, it has been a while since we have seen a revolution, maybe it’s time.

Eventually, The Prince and his Zealots would just have to remove the regulations requiring people to pay to park to go to the beach, the mall or anywhere else they go to enjoy themselves, unless of course, he wanted to deal with the anarchic wrath of the parkers. With no parking meters, then there is less need for parking enforcement, and less reason for people to execrate their leaders, however, not much less. Oh yeah and did I mention, that we not only pay for parking, but our taxes pay for the people professionally enforcing the use of these parking meters. So, successfully rebelling against the use of parking meters, we would not only save money on parking but taxes as well, even though the Zealots would be bound to finding a new reason to continue collecting that money.

Really, the only people that would suffer from the parking meter apocalypse is the Parking Enforcement and honestly, unless they aspired to enforce parking, they would move on to discover a new occupation. Hopefully, something more respectable. Also, if you aspire to work as a parking enforcer or aspired to and successfully made a career out of it, I would appreciate if you would could send in any pictures you have of yourself fucking a parking meter, because that’s art. You fucking mindless artists, I love and hate you at the same time. Nonetheless, I know that parking should be enforced in some places such as apartment complexes, hell, I know if I lived in an apartment people better be laying off my fucking spot, but public parking, come on, we sell our organs and limbs basically to get by in this life as it is. The revolution is here and it starts with parking meters, so let’s starve the skinny bastards.



Author: TQS

Creator and Editor at stumpedwise.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: